Running to Escape

Cody escaped from the house and joined me on a pre-surgery run.

The word escape brings an image to my mind of a prisoner breaking free or running away from someone holding you captive. I suppose escape could bring about nice images like a vacation on the beach, but when I think of escape I'm more focused on what I'm trying to get away from than where I'm going to go. 

What am I trying to get away from? This feeling of needing to escape wells up inside of me. Sometimes it comes on urgently and it breaks me down to a sense of hopelessness. Other times it is very gradual and is a slow feeling of restlessness, a growing need to get the heck out of here.

I don't think I'm alone in this. How many of us read Eat, Pray, Love or Wild and immediately started planning (in our daydreams) an adventure of our own, an escape from reality and responsibility? A pursuit of finding ourselves and indulging our selfish nature.

 
I think the reason I don't picture the end destination when I think of escape is because it's an illusion. A week on the beach is nice, but temporary. Even a soul searching journey, while I'm sure would be a great adventure, wouldn't really get me anywhere substantial. I want something that can't be achieved on this earth. I see a shadow of it in treasured moments with my family and friends, finding beauty in exploring nature, laughing at a funny book or movie, or yes, enjoying a really great vacation. I can soak those moments in and try to create as many of them as possible, but it's fleeting. 

Enjoying a really great vacation with Dad and Luke in Maine.

When that itch to escape comes on I could try to take control of the situation and start making plans to get out of my discomfort, but most likely I need to turn my back on that feeling and embrace the reality of my circumstances. This is where you suck it up and keep moving forward, where you "hit the wall" and push through it. 

As runners, we train our bodies to endure these moments. We learn to recognize the difference between hitting our limit and stopping before we injure ourselves, and hitting that metaphorical wall that causes our mind to think we've had enough when really we need to dig down deep and just keep moving.

Let me introduce you to Pop Pilates with Cassey Ho. The YouTube video below actually made me cry the first few times I did it. Cassey will make you feel the burn, and sometimes that is just what our bodies need. The move that she does in this video is called "prisoner position". No wonder I wanted to escape from it immediately. There are workout videos I've disliked and never returned to, but I knew this one was good for me. I kept at it until I could actually complete the whole video without putting my leg down (or crying). :)

Too much?? Cassey does have beginner workouts, so don't be intimidated. I'll warn you that when I first watched her I was pretty annoyed by her insane perkiness, but it's all for a purpose to distract you from what is happening to your muscles! She will make it worth your time and most videos are short 10-20 minutes. Pop Pilates for beginners is a great place to start: 

Right now I am still not allowed to run or do any hard core workouts. I'm walking, doing yoga, and stretching! I can taste it though, just around the corner...I think I'll be running soon. My body is ready to be pushed. It is restless and longing to hit the pavement. For my mind, running provides a temporary escape from the stress of life. For my body, it reminds me that escape isn't necessary. That I can endure some pain and discomfort, I can persist through it, and come out a little bit stronger on the other side.