Obedience

I went for a run last week! Actually, I ran down my driveway and around my yard in an effort to get two little four year old twin girls to chase me and wear them out. It worked pretty well. 

Running around the yard

 

Going for a walk

Granted this wasn't a "real" run, but I've been given the all clear to resume normal activities! The pregnancy complication has cleared and I won't have to schedule a C-section. Baby Boy Baine can arrive whenever he is good and ready. This is such an answered prayer!!

It felt great to run, even just slowly around the yard. Those little girls had us moving non-stop for a couple of weeks. We had them stay with us as a respite for another foster family. There are seven siblings in their family: a one year old, two year old, three year old, 2 four year olds (the twins), a five year old, and a thirteen year old. The foster family we did respite for has four of the girls in their home. I feel exhausted just thinking about their life, and watching just two of the girls completely wore me out! They went back "home" yesterday and I'm sitting here this morning with a nasty cold and wanting to sleep for the next week. At this point in pregnancy sleep is pretty hard to come by. I wake up all through the night because my back hurts, or I need to use the bathroom, or my arm is numb from laying on my side. Rolling over to my other side is a monumental event where I look like a turtle that rolled over on his back and just has to rock back and forth helplessly. When I finally make it to my other side, and adjust the dozens of pillows surrounding me, my body then decides I need to get up and use the restroom again. Pregnancy: the most exciting and uncomfortable time of your life!

When Youth Villages asked us if we would watch the girls, my initial thought was, "No way!" I didn't think it would be physically possible for me. I feel out of breath just bending down to pick up something off the floor. We would be crazy to take on a couple of wild, never-ending energy preschoolers. We decided to pray about it and see what God had to say about the matter.

God gave both Luke and I abundantly clear instructions that we should watch the girls.  I promise you that at no point in this situation did I feel this was a feasible task. I never felt capable, never felt that I had "enough", never felt certain. I did feel very tired. I cried a couple of times. I asked Luke for A LOT of help. I asked others for help. I rejoiced when I dropped them off at school. I tried to take a nap when they took theirs. I felt resentful when I caught a cold. I felt frustrated when they threw temper tantrums. I felt sad when I saw how far behind they are developmentally.

I also promise you that I understand that this minor, insignificant, short period of time in no way compares to the stresses of life that others deal with 24/7. I'm under no illusion of how incredibly blessed I am. I do believe however that these two weeks have taught me an important lesson in obedience.

God sometimes asks us to do things that seem completely unreasonable.

He isn't interested in our ability to handle it.

He wants us to lay down our lives for him, and sometimes that physically hurts.

I had to continually remind myself that God would not ask me to do something without giving me the tools I needed to get the job done. If I relied on him, he would show up and help me make it through.

God showed up in giving us breaks through school, nap times, and babysitters. He showed us how to work together when Luke had to work or when I needed to rest. He showed us how to power through when we just had to get it done. He showed us how much love we could give these girls in such a short time through hugs and kisses, singing songs, snuggling on the couch, tickles, laughter, and having fun together. They needed so much, and God came through every time.

Having fun!

Establish My Steps

One of the reasons I started this blog was to track and share my progress with training for a marathon. It is a goal I have that will hopefully be achieved someday. My progress towards a marathon has been up and down for several years now. This hasn't been something I could set as a goal, work towards, and achieve. Instead, it has been like many other things in my life, something I have planned for, but then the steps to achieve it have been full of twists and turns, often going in the opposite direction! 

My current mantra verse has been Proverbs 16:9. 

I don't know that this verse is teaching that plans are necessarily bad. Perhaps planning is helpful in many ways, preparing us for what is ahead and knowing what we need to get a job completed. However, as much as I make plans, it is the Lord who carries them out (or doesn't) in establishing the path I will take. I'm finding that path does not often lead in the direction I think it will go. More often, it is a winding path with unexpected stops along the way. The sooner I learn to give up control, the easier it will be to walk the path ahead of me. 

My current path involves a whole lot of walking! I've been trying to walk 1-2 miles everyday. Here are some pics: 

My goal for a 5K turned into participating in the Gator Gallop, a 2 mile run/walk in Gainesville, Florida. We drove down last week to South GA and Luke went with my dad, brother, and all of our nephews to hear Lou Holtz speak at a benefit dinner for my old high school. Dad and Luke also got to see the Gators play at The Swamp, while I spent time with sweet friends in Gainesville.

Last Road Trip of the Pregnancy

The snazzy boys before the benefit dinner

Getting ready to walk

Gator Gallop

Dad and Luke ready to enter The Swamp

Luke showing off the Gator Gallop t-shirt

The third trimester is off to a great start. I'm moving slow, but still moving! We have a few weeks to go before we have another ultrasound to check on the complication and see if it has cleared up. We greatly appreciate your prayers!! 

We are taking childbirth classes and preparing to meet our little one. I've found that nesting does not just mean getting ready for the baby by doing "baby prep" type things (setting up the nursery, etc.) but also means cleaning out the entire house of all the junk we don't need. It feels like I couldn't possibly bring home a baby before I have cleared out the coat closet of all the things we don't use in there. I have cleaned out every room and cabinet in our house and rearranged my office a couple of times. Now that those things are finished, I might actually set up the nursery. 👶

God has blessed us so abundantly and we are trusting in him to establish our steps. As we get closer to Baby Baine's arrival I am reminding myself daily to give up my control and simply walk the path that is placed in front of me. 

Parents: What kinds of things did you do to prepare for your baby's arrival?

 

Unexpected Bumps in the Road

We received some really great and exciting news at our mid-pregnancy ultrasound. We also received some not so good news that I hope you will pray through along with us.

First the good news...

It's a BOY!

The ultrasound revealed a healthy baby BOY! Everything was accounted for and developing normally. We are THRILLED!!

The bad news is that the ultrasound also indicated a complication. I'm upset and nervous, but we are also so excited and relieved that things are developing normally for our baby boy. Due to this complication, I've been restricted from running for the rest of the pregnancy. Boo!!

We would be so grateful if you would pray with us that this complication will resolve itself, which is a possibility. They will do another ultrasound around 32 weeks and we are praying and hopeful that things will change.

In the meantime, I'm still encouraged to exercise and I've been walking in the mornings or evenings around the neighborhood. I'm pleasantly surprised at how much I'm enjoying it. I love to run, but as I get bigger and slower, walking is much easier and still a great workout!

22 weeks and growing!

I'm still planning to sign up for a 5K, but I will be walking it instead of running. Maybe I can walk a 45 minute 5K? Just this week I came across an article discussing why walking is better for you than running. I still intend to pick up running again post-pregnancy, but it is encouraging to read all of the great benefits of walking since that is what I'm stuck with for now! For me, walking relieves pain I've been feeling in my back, relieves stress and makes me feel happier, and it provides all the benefits of cardio exercise that are important for everyone.

Cody celebrating his little brother!

We are so blessed to have so many people share in our excitement and anticipation during our pregnancy. I also hope you will join with us and pray through the complication we are experiencing as well. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, but I often struggle with my prayer life. There are times when prayer feels like the most natural thing, and other times when I feel like my prayers are forced. Recently someone reminded me that one of the greatest gifts we can give others is to pray for them. We have this amazing offering that we can share and use anytime we want or need it.

Old Wives Tales

Pink and Blue for our Gender Reveal Party

Have you come across a great book or study on prayer? Please share in the comments below!

Running with a Bump

Running isn't very easy when you're pregnant. During the first trimester I felt too nauseous and tired to run, but since I've hit the second trimester my nausea has completely gone away for the first time in several years! I have finally hit the halfway mark in this pregnancy and that growing baby bump is heavy, especially when I run! I know I will only get bigger from here, but I feel huge already.

Babymoon at Dauphin Island

My goal is a 5K in the second trimester. I'd like to leave it at that, but I really want to finish it with a 10 minute/mile pace or faster. Fortunately there are lots of 5K races coming up to choose from.

There is one in Franklin, TN, also a 10K, on Labor Day:
 

Franklin Classic

The Go Commando Half Marathon is October 21st. There is also a 5K. I'll be in my 3rd trimester then so might not be doable:

Go Commando

Things I'm learning about running when you're pregnant:

 -It's safe to do. My midwife gave the green light on pretty much any exercise, as long as I feel comfortable doing it. Beginning in the second trimester you should avoid anything you're at risk for falling. That means no bike rides, but I actually didn't find that comfortable in my first trimester, maybe being hunched over? Plus I got tired way too quickly. Luke and I went for a ride and I was done after 4 miles!

-It's not the time to push yourself. A 10 minute/mile pace feels painfully slow to me, but it's better than nothing! If I start getting out of breath it just doesn't feel good, so I'm running at a slow and easy pace where I can easily talk and not feel winded.

-It's harder, but it feels so good! Each step feels like I'm lugging a set of weights around with me, and I get tired more quickly, but running gives me more energy during the day, helps me clear my head, relieves stress, and helps loosen up some aches and pains.

 -It's nice to have a goal. I like having something to focus on and know what my body is able to do. Gaining weight is actually kind of exciting for me because it's fun to think about the little one growing inside me! However, if I just sat around and ate all day I would feel like a fat cow. It's nice to get up and accomplish something.

Team RWB Monday Running Group

Luke has been running with the RWB group at Ft. Campbell. He also joins them on bike rides. I'm just learning about RWB, but they are an awesome group. According to their website their mission is to "enrich the lives of America's veterans by connecting them to their community through physical and social activity." They have several different running, biking, and other exercise meet ups throughout the week. They also participate in all kinds of volunteer activities in the community.

Yesterday we did 100s, which were done at the track to work on speed. You sprint 100 meters, then walk/slow jog 100 meters, then repeat. We did 16 reps which is about 1 mile sprinting and 1 mile walk/jogging. I couldn't sprint (not pushing myself that hard!) but I found this workout perfect for being pregnant. I would jog 100 meters and then walk 100 meters. Add the 1/2 mile warm up and cool down and we ended up doing 3 miles total. That felt great! I had a different goal in mind than speed work, but it was a routine that worked really well. It reminds me of Tabata Training, which I've always enjoyed. Here is a good website explaining Tabata, but basically it is pushing yourself hard for a certain amount of time and then resting, then repeating. You are able to workout longer because of the rest breaks in between, but your body still achieves the same benefits.

Anyone want to do a 10 minute pace 5K in September?? Let me know if there is a good one you know about and let's sign up!

If you can't adopt...

We had the opportunity to care for a four month old a couple of times in the past month to help out another foster family. Luke and I had a blast and were exhausted looking after this precious little one! We got in some practice in being a tag team: preparing bottles, changing diapers, and rocking him to sleep. For now, this is how we hope to help out as foster care parents.

He loves to snuggle!

Going for a walk

It isn't easy to find babysitters as a foster parent. Youth Villages requires background checks and an application packet to become an approved respite provider. If you want the child to come to your home, you also have to do a complete home walk-through and comply with the same rules as foster parents. It's a pretty extensive process. Some children, like the little one we recently watched, require medically fragile training due to their medical needs. Basically, as a foster parent you can't just ask the same people to watch your foster children as you would your own children, even if it's close friends or family, they all have to be approved to provide respite care.

There is a great need for foster families in Middle Tennessee. We were recently told that there were more than 20 children spending the night at the DCS offices in Nashville while they search for families to provide a home for them.

Maybe you can't adopt or foster a child right now, but there are so many ways to be involved. One way is to look into becoming a respite provider for foster families. You can become a support person for an individual family or you can contact DCS or a foster care agency like Youth Villages and go through the training.

Jason Johnson has an excellent blog post on ways to become involved and serve foster care families.
Some ideas include providing services to families such as mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, or bringing a meal. I can attest that having meals provided for us was such a blessing! It was one less thing to worry about at the end of the day.

He also talks about babysitting and providing care packages for service agencies. Youth Villages has multiple opportunities throughout the year to provide items for children in foster care. One of them is Backpack Heroes (going on right now!) and Holiday Heroes at the beginning of December. Be sure and check them out!

A different kind of marathon

Looks like I won't be running the type of marathon I thought I would anytime soon. Instead, I have a different kind of 9 month marathon ahead of me (6 months at this point). 

Much to our surprise, we are having a baby and we couldn't be more excited! 

Our little family in Denver, CO

Here were my first thoughts on finding out I was pregnant:

"Is that right? Let me check the instructions on the box again. Does it really have two lines??"

"YAY!" Along with tears of JOY!

"Oh man, what have we gotten ourselves into? There's really no turning back now."

The above thoughts are pretty much exactly what I was thinking those first few moments we found out I was pregnant. The main overwhelming emotion was excitement, anxiety, thinking, "it's about time!", and some fear. The first night, I lay in bed for hours unable to fall asleep. I was excited, but really, really scared. My fear wasn't about labor or parenting or the enormity of having a child (I'm sure those fears will come at some point!). Instead, I was afraid it wasn't real or if it was, it wouldn't be for long. I was terrified to wake up and not be pregnant anymore. One of the risks with endometriosis is miscarriage and that first night I could not stop thinking about the possibility of it. Finally, I remembered to turn my thoughts to God and pray (why did it take me until 1:30am to do this?). I don't remember thinking about anything after that, but finally fell asleep.

Everybody loves a baby bump progression, so here we are with barely a bump to see:

4 weeks

One of the positive things about waiting for 3 years to become pregnant is you have a lot of time to do research. I have three books on pregnancy, one that I've already read the first part of, we've interviewed providers (that seems really ridiculous now, but hey, it's already done!), I have about 30 bookmarked pages of lists of things you should do while pregnant, what you should eat, things to register for, everything you wanted to know about breastfeeding and cloth diapers, and a million other topics no one cares about when you aren't pregnant. The first year or so that we tried to get pregnant I researched like a mad woman. This made me pretty depressed the second year and I had to put it all out of sight, but now I'm feeling pretty ahead of the game.
 

8 weeks

I think in the back of my mind (very far back) I held on to the possibility of becoming pregnant, but we had pretty much given up on it. We decided against trying fertility treatments and didn't think we would adopt (we are in no way against those things, it just wasn't for us). Even with my doctor telling me there would be a chance of conceiving since my surgery last August was so successful, I still didn't want to get my hopes up. Luke and I prayed for God to show us his plan for our lives. Maybe there were things we would do that others, who had kids, couldn't easily do. Maybe there were positive things about being childless (yes, there are many!). On one level I resigned myself to not having kids and I could even feel joyful in that, but I knew deep down what my true feelings were because they would creep up on me especially when I saw or read something about someone else's struggle with infertility. Amazingly I never felt sad when others announced their pregnancies and I'm glad I could feel genuinely happy for them. The hardest thing though was knowing how much Luke wanted to be a dad and seeing him with our friend's and family's kids and knowing what an awesome dad he would be! 

11 weeks with a tiny bump

We've made it 15 weeks and I'm breathing easier after hearing Baby Baine's heartbeat and seeing him/her on an ultrasound (5 more weeks until we find out the gender!). Everything is healthy so far! This pregnancy and baby are an absolute miracle! I can't believe how many doctors told me that I would never be able to get pregnant, how sure they were that I needed a hysterectomy, and how none of them knew there was a specialist in Atlanta who would look at my chart and confidently tell me that he could remove every bit of the endo and leave all of my organs intact. We are so thankful to have found Dr. Sinervo, at The Center for Endometriosis Care. My concern at that time was to get back my life, to not be in pain and nausea everyday. The icing on the cake is this miracle baby growing inside me. 




 My goal is to run a 5K in my second trimester. I stopped running in the first trimester because I was tired all the time and feeling nauseous (no change there!) but now I'm feeling less nauseous and a little more energy so I'm determined to get back to running. I went for a run yesterday with Luke and my dad, who is in town for the 4th of July. It felt great!

For all my mom friends out there, what kinds of exercises did you like to do when you were pregnant? I'm doing lots of walking, and a little bit of core and yoga. I'm thinking about finding a pool to do some swimming or pool walking.

Thanks for sharing in our excitement! I spent an entire day on Facebook reading congratulations messages from friends after we posted our announcement. Facebook gets a bad rap, but man it made me so happy to read all of those comments!! Here is our post if you missed it:

Ready to Roll January 2018!

All or Nothing?

It's hard to keep up with a blog about running a marathon when I haven't been doing much running. 
My body just physically does not want to run very far or very fast or very often. I still have the desire to get out there, I'm just moving much more slowly than I would like.

Running isn't the only thing in my life that I'm only doing part of the way right now. I've gone back and forth about whether I need to give up those things completely. If I can't do them 100%, should I be attempting to do them at all? One of the things that motivates me to run is to set goals to run faster and farther than the last time. Doesn't that also motivate us in life? To move forward, make gains, and feel like we are achieving something?

So what happens when we are stagnant? When we aren't really achieving anything and maybe we even feel like we're moving backwards instead of forwards? Should we quit? Should it be all or nothing?

I went back and forth about this with running. I went out for a run and ended up walking a lot and running a little. When I stopped to walk I thought about giving up on running completely. Why continue if I'm just going to have to stop and walk? After walking a bit I felt like running again and made up my mind that it doesn't really matter how much I walk or how much I run. I love to run, and I'm going to keep doing it as long as I'm still enjoying it and my body is physically capable of doing it!

Luke and I going for a run on Global Running Day

I don't think it is all or nothing. God has me where I am for a reason. I have times in my life when I can jump into things with both feet and give it everything I've got, and I have other times when I have to scale back and just do what I am able to do. There may be times when I need to quit, when something is taking up space that shouldn't be taking my time and energy, but there are other times when I quit things that maybe I am supposed to hold onto a little longer. Even though I am not making the progress I would like or getting the results I think I should, it doesn't mean it is over.

My encouragement for you and for myself right now is not to give up when you can't do it all. It just matters that we are doing something. No matter how big or small it seems to be. Keep doing it.

I'll leave you with a yoga website to check out. Yoga has been something I can always fall back on and do even when other workouts seem out of reach.

Yoga for Runners

Pennyrile State Forest

A couple weekends ago, Luke and I went to one of our favorite places for a few days of rest, relaxation, and lots of hiking. Pennyrile State Forest is about an hour away from our house, just north of Hopkinsville, Kentucky.

Our cabin for the weekend

There is a lodge where you can spend the night, or you can rent a cabin nestled in the woods along the lake. There are plenty of hiking trails right outside the door. There are also mountain bike trails, a swimming pool, beach area at the lake, tennis and basketball courts, a golf course...lots of things to do! 

 

 View of the lake from our cabin

I'll let these pics speak for themselves. Here are some of the hiking trails:

 

Pausing for a rest on Fisherman's Rock

It was a little wet and muddy on the trail

Taking our hike to the golf course when the weather was rainy

Met a friend and saw lots of wildlife, especially on the golf course!

Cody had a blast swimming in the lake

Beautiful Views

It was a fantastic weekend, even with a bit of rain. Not a whole lot of running, but lots of walking and hiking! Luke took his bike out on the road as well. I have been doing a lot more walking than running lately, but we did enjoy the Girls on the Run 5K last Saturday. This was the most encouraging 5K I have participated in, but if you are looking to hit a PR or be really serious, this isn't the 5K for you. We were surrounded by little girls and their running buddies who were attempting to convince them to run instead of walk. Girls would stop to tie their shoe right in front of you, no moving to the side of the road. There were girls sprinting, walking, crying, laughing, but overall just having a great time!

Here are some photo highlights:

Posing in front of the Titans stadium, it was cold!

 

 

 

Start line: lots of pink!

Girls and Running Buddies

Cheering at the finish line

This 5K convinced me that I want to find a local GOTR group and volunteer. It will motivate me to keep running as well. I'm moving pretty slowly these days, but I figure even if I'm walking, at least I'm moving!! I've also been doing lots of yoga and will leave you with a great, short video by FemFusion Fitness. This video would be great to do after a run or just after a stressful day. Enjoy!