Sand in my running shoes

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Pawley's Island

Luke's mom made sure we had a festive beach house and a place for all of the gifts.

I am truly thankful for almost complete healing from my excision surgery back in August and due to physical therapy, my pain is pretty much non-existent. That means my physical therapist gave me the green light to try running again and I was able to run my first mile last week! We spent some pre-Christmas time in Pawley's Island, South Carolina with Luke's family. I wouldn't call myself a beach person, but it is an extremely relaxing place. It's very cozy sitting on the couch under a blanket, looking out at the ocean with a good book to read. The weather was perfect and we took advantage of it by taking long walks with our toes in the sand in December!

Enjoying beach time with Luke's parents

The giant wall of sand

Luke and I went on a 7 mile walk down to the pier from our beach house. He ran half a mile with me on the road and half a mile on the beach. It didn't take long to get winded, but it felt oh so good! 

Hurricane Matthew hit Pawley's and left the beach looking much different from when we last saw it in August. It washed away most of the dunes along with some of the walkways and stairs to the beach. They brought in a ton of sand and created a huge wall of it in front of the houses.

It's odd to be at the beach in December, but the weather cooperated to give us the ideal day to enjoy the beach and to go for a run. I'm thrilled to have that first mile under my belt, and I'm looking forward to many more!

Starting point at the end of Pawley's Island

Had to stop and give these guys a pat

Beautiful day for a run on the beach

Now, the bad news...when I found out I had endometriosis the two main symptoms I had were abdominal pain and nausea. You wouldn't believe how many pregnancy tests doctors made me take! The abdominal pain is nearly gone. Unfortunately, the nausea continues. Many endo sufferers experience nausea, especially if adhesions are aggravating the intestines, bladder, and bowel. I expected the nausea to depart along with the pain. Now my doctor has been trying one thing after the next: diet changes, anxiety, stomach acid, blood sugar, and now sleep. The nausea prevails. In a few days the end of the year will mean the end of having my health insurance deductible met. That means paying out of pocket, or doing some experimenting on my own.

Cody's best dog-frend, Tucker, is visiting and enjoying the walks too.

Nausea or not this is where you will find me most days, out for a walk on Kimbrough. Walking and running my way to a marathon. Luke is sticking with me so far. Any bets on how far he'll go? My guess is a 10K, but let's see if we can get him to do a half marathon with me! I say "we" because this will take a collective effort! Leave a comment on how far you think he should keep running with me!

Running to Escape

Cody escaped from the house and joined me on a pre-surgery run.

The word escape brings an image to my mind of a prisoner breaking free or running away from someone holding you captive. I suppose escape could bring about nice images like a vacation on the beach, but when I think of escape I'm more focused on what I'm trying to get away from than where I'm going to go. 

What am I trying to get away from? This feeling of needing to escape wells up inside of me. Sometimes it comes on urgently and it breaks me down to a sense of hopelessness. Other times it is very gradual and is a slow feeling of restlessness, a growing need to get the heck out of here.

I don't think I'm alone in this. How many of us read Eat, Pray, Love or Wild and immediately started planning (in our daydreams) an adventure of our own, an escape from reality and responsibility? A pursuit of finding ourselves and indulging our selfish nature.

 
I think the reason I don't picture the end destination when I think of escape is because it's an illusion. A week on the beach is nice, but temporary. Even a soul searching journey, while I'm sure would be a great adventure, wouldn't really get me anywhere substantial. I want something that can't be achieved on this earth. I see a shadow of it in treasured moments with my family and friends, finding beauty in exploring nature, laughing at a funny book or movie, or yes, enjoying a really great vacation. I can soak those moments in and try to create as many of them as possible, but it's fleeting. 

Enjoying a really great vacation with Dad and Luke in Maine.

When that itch to escape comes on I could try to take control of the situation and start making plans to get out of my discomfort, but most likely I need to turn my back on that feeling and embrace the reality of my circumstances. This is where you suck it up and keep moving forward, where you "hit the wall" and push through it. 

As runners, we train our bodies to endure these moments. We learn to recognize the difference between hitting our limit and stopping before we injure ourselves, and hitting that metaphorical wall that causes our mind to think we've had enough when really we need to dig down deep and just keep moving.

Let me introduce you to Pop Pilates with Cassey Ho. The YouTube video below actually made me cry the first few times I did it. Cassey will make you feel the burn, and sometimes that is just what our bodies need. The move that she does in this video is called "prisoner position". No wonder I wanted to escape from it immediately. There are workout videos I've disliked and never returned to, but I knew this one was good for me. I kept at it until I could actually complete the whole video without putting my leg down (or crying). :)

Too much?? Cassey does have beginner workouts, so don't be intimidated. I'll warn you that when I first watched her I was pretty annoyed by her insane perkiness, but it's all for a purpose to distract you from what is happening to your muscles! She will make it worth your time and most videos are short 10-20 minutes. Pop Pilates for beginners is a great place to start: 

Right now I am still not allowed to run or do any hard core workouts. I'm walking, doing yoga, and stretching! I can taste it though, just around the corner...I think I'll be running soon. My body is ready to be pushed. It is restless and longing to hit the pavement. For my mind, running provides a temporary escape from the stress of life. For my body, it reminds me that escape isn't necessary. That I can endure some pain and discomfort, I can persist through it, and come out a little bit stronger on the other side.

Wake up and get moving!

I've been told numerous times, by very wise and knowledgeable people, that there are two things I should do first thing in the morning, before anything else: Bible study and Exercise. 
(my dad would probably add "brush your teeth", but I think that's a given)  

I argued against this logic for years because I am not a morning person. I value my sleep and try to get as much of it as possible. It is not just that sleep is good for you (research shows benefits for your brain, your heart, and even your waistline, see this article from the NIH), but I ENJOY sleeping. I really love it. Sleep is not a waste of time or something to feel guilty about. 

However, the wise people in my life were right, if I don't prioritize certain activites, the day will get away from me and I won't find time for them. It is all too easy to downgrade important things like sleep, exercise, and time with God into luxuries instead of priorities. I don't think it has to be that way. For me, it just means I have to get to bed at a decent hour to get all of the glorious sleep I need!  

I would like to share my morning routine with you, but before I do I think it's important to stop here and watch a funny animal video. Watching cute and funny animals should always be a priority and this one will help get you in the Christmas spirit, so enjoy!
 
 

 

Don't you feel better? Now, here is my morning routine:
I wake up and read whatever Bible passage I'm currently reading and then have time in prayer. For a long time, I actually wrote down a prayer and read it every morning because I had trouble knowing what to say and was getting distracted. Every now and then I'll still go back to that written prayer, but I've found the more I pray, the easier it gets. Just like getting to know a friend better and better, the conversation gets easier. 

Next, I get out of bed and do hip circles, squats, and a plank. Sometimes the hip circles happen while I'm brushing my teeth. What are hip circles? Click here. If I'm going to get in a run or walk for the day it has to happen NOW, in the morning. Ideally, I would walk everyday for 30 minutes, but reality is that I'm more likely to do it every other day. This is a great time to pray as well and perhaps just listen to what God has to say. I do my best listening when I'm outside. Somewhere like this:  
 

Family Life Center Hiking Trails

If I have more time in the morning I will do a workout video from youtube, but usually this doesn't happen until I get home from work in the evening. These videos can be as short as 4-6 minutes if I'm really crunched for time, but usually are around 10-15 minutes. 

All of the above links go to FemFusion Fitness videos. Dr. Brianne Grogan is a physical therapist whose motto is, "Eat Clean, Move Everyday." She has fantastic workout videos for all levels, plus advice on clean eating and other topics related to women's health. She has videos I've been able to do even when I feel pretty bad and I still feel like I'm getting a good workout. She is a huge proponent of integrating movement into your day with things like taking the stairs, parking further away, and adding exercise into something you already do, such as her bathroom fitness routine.  For a good place to start, check out her cardio-abs for beginners video:
 

 
That's my routine. Make it a priority and it will happen! How do you fit exercise into your day?

Moving Down Memory Lane

This week Luke and I brought our daughter down to Valdosta, GA to spend time with my family and celebrate Thanksgiving. It was my mom's favorite holiday and is full of traditions for our family. When you have happy memories to look back on it makes traditions feel important and special. Traditions remind us of those good times together, of family and friends who are no longer with us, and help us feel connected to one another through the special times we have shared. Most of our family traditions involve food. Thanksgiving is an obvious food focused holiday, but we can pretty much make any celebration revolve around food: Chili and guacamole on Super Bowl Sunday, sugar cookies for Christmas, Mexican food for many special occasions, and Krispy Kreme donuts anytime the sign says they're hot! It's a good thing my dad has instilled the tradition of running into our family!

Cooking squash casserole from mom's recipe.

My brother makes whipping up all of our favorite 
Thanksgiving foods look easy!

To work up our appetites we often participate in a Turkey Trot 5K or when we were young we would watch dad run the Atlanta Thanksgiving Half Marathon. This year I wasn't able to run, but Luke joined the Jackson family runners.

Dad, Bryce, Luke, Sydney, Landon, and Parker 2016 Turkey Trot

Dad taught me to run. I started my miles in Clarkston, GA, running through the neighborhood or on the PATH trails in Atlanta. The purpose of those miles culminated in the ultimate annual event of the Peachtree Road Race every July 4th. The Peachtree is one of my favorite family traditions. We watched dad run every year. His first year running it was in 1976. My first year running the Peachtree was in 1994 for the 25th anniversary.

My brother Mark greeting dad at the finish line in 1977.

Ryan, Mollie, and I congratulate dad after he finished the Atlanta Thanksgiving Half Marathon in 1993.

Luke and I celebrate our one month wedding anniversary July 4th 2006.

Showing off our t-shirts after the 2006 Peachtree.

Dad has run countless miles in marathons, 10Ks, and 5Ks. He is still running around Dasher, GA everyday, and after having knee surgery added bicycle riding to his routine. This man is my inspiration and has never made me doubt that I could do anything I put my mind to. I was never a particularly athletic child. I attempted playing various sports, but fell short in my abilities for team sports. Dad never stopped encouraging me to get out and play! I finally found my groove in running and have attempted to follow in dad's footsteps mile after mile. 

Dad at the finish of a triathlon with his best cheerleader.

Joining dad for the BRAG: Bicycle Ride Across Georgia.

Dad took me with him on the final leg of the BRAG: Bicycle Ride Across Georgia in 2003. I never would have thought I could bike 60+ miles in one day, but dad taught me how to ride and motivated me mile after mile to the finish line in St. Marys, GA. In 2012 I was able to join dad for the Atlanta Thanksgiving Half Marathon. No longer just a spectator, I was able to participate in this annual tradition with him.

Atlanta Thanksgiving Half Marathon

Taking Cody for a run in Dasher a few years ago.

Dad walked with me on my first walks after surgery. Hopefully he will join us when we travel to Germany to run my marathon! I'll need my first running partner and coach there to cheer me on. Today he took my brother and Luke out on Luke's first bike ride on the road since his wreck.

First road bike ride since the wreck!

My dad inspires me to keep moving. He taught me the love that is running and the life lessons that go along with it. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. I love the quote below that hangs up in my Physical Therapy office.

Keep moving one day at a time, one step at a time.

Running back and forth to Nashville

Taken from Results Physiotherapy website: The girl in the picture looks like she just finished a run! :)

I started Physical Therapy three weeks ago at Results Physiotherapy in Nashville. They have a pelvic health specialty clinic there, and while I'm truly thankful it is nearby, running back and forth to Nashville three times a week is not the kind of running I would like to be doing!

My very awesome physical therapist, Beth, is not allowing me to run at this point. I still say she is awesome because the woman is working magic in helping me. I confess that I really enjoy physical therapy. It is worth the 53 minute drive. My main issue is that most of my muscles are very tense and tight from the trauma of surgery. This means that the majority of my PT consists of massage, stretches, applying heat and some kind of awesome electric "Stim" pulses on my ab and back muscles, and basically learning to relax and take deep breaths. Sounds awful, huh?   

Yesterday, Beth told me I can finally start doing yoga again! I can do "restorative" yoga twice a week. Here is my go-to yoga gal: 

 

Yoga with Adriene Adriene doesn't take herself too seriously. She knows what she's doing and keeps things fun. Plus she's from Austin, so she's weird and awesome. She has great instructional videos for individual poses, plus different challenges, such as 30 days of yoga. If you are looking for something specific, she probably has a video for it. Go to her YouTube site at the link above and search for any topic you're looking for: back pain, for bedtime, for runners, relaxation, stress relief, tired legs, morning sequence, strength and focus, the list goes on...
 

Lots of walks with this guy

Right now the exercises I'm doing are nice and easy. I'm going on walks, which makes Cody very happy, but I'm not doing anything too strenuous. The goal is to reduce pain. I've been thinking about our bodies natural reaction to avoid pain. It is probably what keeps many people from sticking with exercise programs. Exercise is difficult, sometimes it hurts, and we have to push ourselves through feelings that we don't really enjoy. I'm a strong believer in finding exercise that you love and enjoy, but any time you are working your muscles, there is going to be some level of discomfort involved. Your muscles are basically being injured while you exercise, they are ripping apart and then, when you rest, are being built back together, to become even stronger. 



The same thing happens when we encounter a difficult situation in life. We do our best to avoid the discomfort. For me, I avoid things that I am afraid will be too much responsibility. I think it is a natural thing to do, but it isn't what God tells us to do as Christians. He often asks us to go into situations outside of our comfort zone. 

"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands." 2 John 1:6

When Luke and I were considering becoming foster parents we experienced this natural inclination in our human nature of self preservation. We weren't sure what we were getting into and we knew it wouldn't be easy. We avoided it and made excuses, but eventually we were convicted to be obedient to what God was asking when we heard a sermon by Josh Phillips, our pastor at Community Life Church. The message in this particular sermon was to Be Faithful, Not Fearful. 

During our foster parent training we learned that 1 in 4 girls have been sexually abused. Not 1 in 4 girls in foster care, but 1 in 4 girls, period. Many children in foster care have experienced some kind of abuse, have emotional disturbances, behavioral difficulties, and have been in the juvenile justice system. The more we learned, the more there was to fear. 

The encouragement to Be Faithful, Not Fearful, stuck with us. At a similar time we also read a blog post by Jason Johnson. There was a kid out there living in hell and we could be a safe place for them. The cost to them if we chose not to do foster care, far outweighed what it would cost us to take them in. It put our fear, inconvenience, and selfishness into perspective. 

Maybe there is something you know God is asking of you, and it scares you, or just makes you feel uncomfortable. Our human nature will try to persuade us to stay on the easy path, but let me encourage you (and myself) that putting ourselves out there in those uncomfortable situations will bless us far more than staying where things are nice and easy.

"We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

Just as our muscles are strengthened and built through physical exercise, God molds us, refines us, toughens us, and makes us into new creatures through our obedience to him. It's worth the struggle. 

What is God asking of you that makes you uncomfortable or fearful? 

Hold onto his promises and step out in obedience. 

Getting Motivated

God is often teaching me lessons through running that carry over into my daily life. I started to write this post about motivation and ideas for getting motivated to run and workout. I'm still going to share those things, but I also realized that I needed a lesson in what motivates my life. I'm still working through that part, but I'll share what I've been given so far. 

First, how do you motivate yourself to workout? 
If you want to get in shape and think you don't have time or that it will be difficult, boring, or whatever other excuses you come up with...I can assure you that it doesn't have to be as difficult as you think. It's all about finding workouts you ENJOY! I believe it's important to find exercise you love, because otherwise, why do it? You are just going to give up if you don't really enjoy it.

Here are a few ideas if running isn't your thing: cycling, hiking, playing sports, swimming, fitness classes, boxing/kickboxing, karate or other martial arts. I'd love to hear other ideas in the comments below.  

Hiking with my man at Dunbar Cave

I also think a workout buddy goes a long way in holding you accountable and simply keeping you company and having fun together. Exercising with Luke is almost always more fun than exercising alone. If I'm walking, biking, or hiking with Luke, I'm just enjoying talking to him and not even thinking that it's a workout. Being out in God's nature helps too!

My sweet husband had his own experience with health and exercise struggles this year. In April, he was hit by an SUV while riding his bike on Memorial Drive in Clarksville, and ended up in the trauma center in Nashville, had emergency surgery, spent a few days in the hospital, and a few months unable to walk.    

A ridiculous selfie of us when he was in the trauma center. He wanted a selfie, these are my skills.

Recovering at home with the leg immobilizer and well wishes from lots of friends.

      

I enjoy cycling with him. Not as much by myself, but I did complete a 10 mile bike ride in his honor on July 4th this year. I also rode my bike BY MYSELF on Memorial Drive. This was a huge fear to face, but I believe in facing your fears. Don't let fear hold you back from living life to its fullest. When you face your fears you are experiencing faith. When you have faith, it's hard to feel hopeless.

Sango Firecracker Bike Ride for the 4th of July

Face your fears, conquer your fears...and God will remind you of the hope in which he has called you. Here is what we saw the day we drove Luke home from the hospital.  A beautiful reminder of the hope we have in God. 

A beautiful rainbow on our drive home

Hope is powerful. What gives us hope? What makes us lose hope? Why do we often have such a strong hope and confidence one day and struggle the next? I believe we have a very real enemy fighting against us, but I also believe at times, that enemy is ourselves. Today, my thoughts and feelings have been waging war on what is true. I woke up and wanted to pull the covers back over my head. I felt tired, depressed, and basically had a bad attitude. I immediately pulled out my Bible and started reading scripture because I knew I needed it. I'm still on a marathon of reading and re-reading 1 Peter, so here is some of what I read today, 

"As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." 1 Peter 1:14-16

I would like to say that I immediately felt a conviction to get my act together and start acting holy. What I "felt" instead was like a child who crosses their arms, sticks out their lower lip, and starts to throw a temper tantrum.

Fortunately I kept reading...

"Since you call on a Father who judges each person's work impartially, live out your time as foreigners here in reverent fear." 1 Peter 1:17

Uh Oh. 

"For you know that is was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect...Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your FAITH and HOPE are in God." 1 Peter 1:18-21  

Our feelings are so fickle and even though I read these verses this morning and felt a very strong conviction to change my attitude, I've struggled with it the entire day. This kind of hopeless, uncaring attitude comes from fear. Not the reverent fear Peter was talking about, but an unhealthy fear that discourages and tears us down. Fear of failure, fear of what the future holds, fear that we aren't good enough, strong enough, or able to handle what's ahead. This kind of fear can paralyze us from moving forward. It also is a lie.

Fear is a powerful motivator, but I believe there is a fear that motivates, convicts, and encourages us to fall down on our faces before a holy and just God. Fall down so that God can lift you up.

He is our hope. No matter what we are wrestling with, whether it is a physical obstacle or our own feelings, we can remember that those circumstances and those feelings are temporary and fleeting. The hope we have in God is everlasting. 

One of my mom's favorite Bible verses was Jeremiah 29:11.

Taken from Dailyverses.net

He's got this. 
 

My perfectionist husband created this picture