Living in a Storm Cloud

Our new farm with the storm clouds rolling in-proving the beauty that can be found in the storm.

Taking care of a baby often feels like being trapped inside a storm cloud. I can see that there are other things going on in the world, fun things I might like to do or just necessary things that I need to get done, but I’m often stuck in baby-land: a sweet, joyful place most of the time, and a monotonous, lonely place some of the time. My mind is almost completely occupied with what time he woke up from his nap, when he was nursed, what time he needs to go back down for a nap, when I last changed his diaper, is he happy or cranky?, is he going to pull a stool over onto his face? ...again? It’s not just the sleep deprivation, but also the hijacking of my brain and physicality of it all that is exhausting. 

Living in a storm cloud seems depressing. It rains a lot so you can’t venture out very far. There’s a lot of risk with thunder and lightening so it keeps you on your toes. However, clouds provide necessary protection. Clouds cool everything down and keep the sun from scorching you. When I’m out for a run, I welcome the clouds and even a little rain to keep from overheating. It’s not always practical or honestly, always enjoyable, but living inside the baby-land storm cloud feels safe. If I venture out for work or a little “me time” my anxiety level rises until I’m back with my Little Babe. I know this time is short. I want to complain about the rain, but I know I’ll miss the cool, shady protection from this cloudy space all too soon. 

A beautiful rainbow promises that the storm will not overtake us. 

Baby-land: Gideon's first trip to the beach