Living in a Storm Cloud

Our new farm with the storm clouds rolling in-proving the beauty that can be found in the storm.

Taking care of a baby often feels like being trapped inside a storm cloud. I can see that there are other things going on in the world, fun things I might like to do or just necessary things that I need to get done, but I’m often stuck in baby-land: a sweet, joyful place most of the time, and a monotonous, lonely place some of the time. My mind is almost completely occupied with what time he woke up from his nap, when he was nursed, what time he needs to go back down for a nap, when I last changed his diaper, is he happy or cranky?, is he going to pull a stool over onto his face? ...again? It’s not just the sleep deprivation, but also the hijacking of my brain and physicality of it all that is exhausting. 

Living in a storm cloud seems depressing. It rains a lot so you can’t venture out very far. There’s a lot of risk with thunder and lightening so it keeps you on your toes. However, clouds provide necessary protection. Clouds cool everything down and keep the sun from scorching you. When I’m out for a run, I welcome the clouds and even a little rain to keep from overheating. It’s not always practical or honestly, always enjoyable, but living inside the baby-land storm cloud feels safe. If I venture out for work or a little “me time” my anxiety level rises until I’m back with my Little Babe. I know this time is short. I want to complain about the rain, but I know I’ll miss the cool, shady protection from this cloudy space all too soon. 

A beautiful rainbow promises that the storm will not overtake us. 

Baby-land: Gideon's first trip to the beach

Ready to Run?

I signed up for a 5K for the first Saturday in April. I really want to run, but I'm not quite ready. I went for a "test run" the other day and it was good mentally, but not great physically. I was surprised that it was my legs that felt the most uncomfortable. All that extra fat is heavy! I'm excited about getting back into running, but my body feels very fragile. At the same time, I feel stronger in some ways than I've ever felt in my life. I know I still have a ton of work to do physically, but the experience of giving birth has made me mentally strong. I'm now under the belief that I can do anything! (or maybe sleep deprivation has made me delusional! Ha!)

Luke and I also went for a bike ride together while my dad was in town. We had a blast. It was fun to be away from the baby (for a short time) and do something we enjoy.

First Post Baby Bike Ride

Gideon Loves Granddaddy

In case you didn't read my last post, or just forgot, I'm doing 52 weekly challenges for new moms from rookiemoms.com. Here is the list of all of the challenges. Challenge #2 is a reconnaissance mission to find places you can nurse and do diaper changes while out and about. Here are the details for this challenge.

To be fair, I don't go out shopping and running around town very often, so my mission wasn't very extensive. However, I was pretty disappointed in being able to find mom/baby friendly spots. Most often, I've nursed in the backseat of the car instead of out in public. The first place that I fed him in front of other people was at Starbucks. Coffee houses have comfy seats that make breastfeeding doable. The Starbucks we visited did not have a changing table in the bathroom, so I ended up changing his diaper in the car. It's not easy changing a diaper on the slanted seat of the car.

The best place to breastfeed and change a diaper is at church. Most churches have a private room for mothers with comfortable chairs, rockers, a changing table, and even toys, baby swings or bouncer seats. I wish churches would open their doors to moms who are out and about and need a clean, convenient place to stop in and feed their babies. Maybe I just need to ask?

Challenge #2 = Complete

Here are some pics of Gideon with his mommy on a beautiful day outside and with his daddy at Grandma Ruth's funeral in Kentucky.

Gideon enjoying the springtime weather

Looking sharp for Grandma Ruth's funeral

What are the best spots you have found for feeding the babies and diaper changes while out in the world?

New Beginnings

I'm writing from the trenches of newborn exhaustion. I am finally starting to come up for air from the wicked combination of sleepless nights, hormones out of whack, and intense physical recovery my body and mind have been going through these past two months. This blog has been about the ups and downs in training for a marathon. It feels like I'm starting over from the very beginning to get my body back in shape and begin running again. I thought it would be fun to share that journey along with the new beginnings that come with motherhood. I found a website for new moms that has different challenges to complete each week that get you out of the house and interacting with the world. I'm going to post my attempts to tackle each challenge along with what I'm doing to get back to running.

But first, here are some baby snuggles...  

  

Gideon

Allow me to introduce this incredible, amazing blessing called Gideon. How we have prayed for this little guy to come into our lives. We have cried out to God with desperation and waited in wonder and often impatience for several years. He is an absolute miracle. I have spent hours just gazing upon him, studying him, snuggling him, and falling in love. Luke and I are amazed and amused by the smallest things, a facial expression, a sweet sound, the fuzzy hair on his ears! (he may be part werewolf!)  

 

Proud Grandparents

 

Our little Family

Up to this point getting out of the house seemed like a monumental task. It's still a little intimidating and I think the idea of completing these challenges will force me to go a little (or sometimes a lot) outside of my comfort zone. The challenge this week is to Pretend you're in Paris by going to a coffee shop and hanging out for a bit. On Monday I chose to head out alone (with Gideon) to Miss Lucille's. It isn't far from home, they have coffee, food, and I could push the stroller around and check out all of the booths with antiques, clothes, art, furniture, and all kinds of things. He slept most of the time we were there. The only downside was that I probably would have stayed longer to walk around but I wanted to get back home to feed him. This wasn't a difficult challenge, but I need to conquer breastfeeding in public so I can stay out as long as I would like. 

Challenge One = Success!

This week I began taking steps to get back into working out. I'm starting out with exercises that are going to sound ridiculous because they are so easy, but if you want to ease your body back into a workout routine these simple actions are a great place to start!

Exercise 1: Deep breathing- you can do deep belly breaths any time and pretty much anywhere. This guided meditation video from FemFusion Fitness was perfect for after-baby and focuses on relaxing and breathing deeply.

Exercise 2: Hip Circles- Again, FemFusion Fitness is awesome. Check them out! I don't do 50 hip circles a day as described in the video below, I do 8-10 in each direction first thing in the morning or at other times of the day when I just want to move!

Exercise 3: Walking- This is self explanatory and the weather has been perfect the past few days for this. Lately I will walk a half mile and that is all I feel like doing. I think we can give up or never start exercise if we think we have to achieve a certain number of miles or do certain types of exercise. Do what feels good and stop when you need to. Just doing something is what counts! I don't have a walking video, so I HAVE to share this ridiculous video about prancercise. I can't decide if the actual video is more hysterical, or the spoof that was made about it, so check them both out! 

Exercise 4: Gentle stretches- Yoga with Adriene

Exercise 5: Core! Disclaimer: If you are recovering from childbirth, get the all clear before doing any type of abdominal or core exercise just in case you have diastasis recti or pelvic floor prolapse. Both of these are VERY common after giving birth and certain exercises can make them worse including planks and crunches. However, there are TONS of exercises you can do that are safe. Just educate yourself so you know what you should or should not be doing.

Lots of new beginnings are happening around here and the recent weather has felt like Spring is headed our way early. It has been miserably cold outside since Gideon was born and the warm weather is like walking out of a dark tunnel into a beautiful, sunny day. It has me thinking that we shouldn't make our new year's resolutions at the beginning of the year in January. It's too cold and gloomy to get motivated. Make your resolutions right now, especially if it includes exercise, and get out there with me and get moving! 

Let me know in the comments if you're getting started with a new exercise routine. It's the perfect time to do it!

Obedience

I went for a run last week! Actually, I ran down my driveway and around my yard in an effort to get two little four year old twin girls to chase me and wear them out. It worked pretty well. 

Running around the yard

 

Going for a walk

Granted this wasn't a "real" run, but I've been given the all clear to resume normal activities! The pregnancy complication has cleared and I won't have to schedule a C-section. Baby Boy Baine can arrive whenever he is good and ready. This is such an answered prayer!!

It felt great to run, even just slowly around the yard. Those little girls had us moving non-stop for a couple of weeks. We had them stay with us as a respite for another foster family. There are seven siblings in their family: a one year old, two year old, three year old, 2 four year olds (the twins), a five year old, and a thirteen year old. The foster family we did respite for has four of the girls in their home. I feel exhausted just thinking about their life, and watching just two of the girls completely wore me out! They went back "home" yesterday and I'm sitting here this morning with a nasty cold and wanting to sleep for the next week. At this point in pregnancy sleep is pretty hard to come by. I wake up all through the night because my back hurts, or I need to use the bathroom, or my arm is numb from laying on my side. Rolling over to my other side is a monumental event where I look like a turtle that rolled over on his back and just has to rock back and forth helplessly. When I finally make it to my other side, and adjust the dozens of pillows surrounding me, my body then decides I need to get up and use the restroom again. Pregnancy: the most exciting and uncomfortable time of your life!

When Youth Villages asked us if we would watch the girls, my initial thought was, "No way!" I didn't think it would be physically possible for me. I feel out of breath just bending down to pick up something off the floor. We would be crazy to take on a couple of wild, never-ending energy preschoolers. We decided to pray about it and see what God had to say about the matter.

God gave both Luke and I abundantly clear instructions that we should watch the girls.  I promise you that at no point in this situation did I feel this was a feasible task. I never felt capable, never felt that I had "enough", never felt certain. I did feel very tired. I cried a couple of times. I asked Luke for A LOT of help. I asked others for help. I rejoiced when I dropped them off at school. I tried to take a nap when they took theirs. I felt resentful when I caught a cold. I felt frustrated when they threw temper tantrums. I felt sad when I saw how far behind they are developmentally.

I also promise you that I understand that this minor, insignificant, short period of time in no way compares to the stresses of life that others deal with 24/7. I'm under no illusion of how incredibly blessed I am. I do believe however that these two weeks have taught me an important lesson in obedience.

God sometimes asks us to do things that seem completely unreasonable.

He isn't interested in our ability to handle it.

He wants us to lay down our lives for him, and sometimes that physically hurts.

I had to continually remind myself that God would not ask me to do something without giving me the tools I needed to get the job done. If I relied on him, he would show up and help me make it through.

God showed up in giving us breaks through school, nap times, and babysitters. He showed us how to work together when Luke had to work or when I needed to rest. He showed us how to power through when we just had to get it done. He showed us how much love we could give these girls in such a short time through hugs and kisses, singing songs, snuggling on the couch, tickles, laughter, and having fun together. They needed so much, and God came through every time.

Having fun!

Establish My Steps

One of the reasons I started this blog was to track and share my progress with training for a marathon. It is a goal I have that will hopefully be achieved someday. My progress towards a marathon has been up and down for several years now. This hasn't been something I could set as a goal, work towards, and achieve. Instead, it has been like many other things in my life, something I have planned for, but then the steps to achieve it have been full of twists and turns, often going in the opposite direction! 

My current mantra verse has been Proverbs 16:9. 

I don't know that this verse is teaching that plans are necessarily bad. Perhaps planning is helpful in many ways, preparing us for what is ahead and knowing what we need to get a job completed. However, as much as I make plans, it is the Lord who carries them out (or doesn't) in establishing the path I will take. I'm finding that path does not often lead in the direction I think it will go. More often, it is a winding path with unexpected stops along the way. The sooner I learn to give up control, the easier it will be to walk the path ahead of me. 

My current path involves a whole lot of walking! I've been trying to walk 1-2 miles everyday. Here are some pics: 

My goal for a 5K turned into participating in the Gator Gallop, a 2 mile run/walk in Gainesville, Florida. We drove down last week to South GA and Luke went with my dad, brother, and all of our nephews to hear Lou Holtz speak at a benefit dinner for my old high school. Dad and Luke also got to see the Gators play at The Swamp, while I spent time with sweet friends in Gainesville.

Last Road Trip of the Pregnancy

The snazzy boys before the benefit dinner

Getting ready to walk

Gator Gallop

Dad and Luke ready to enter The Swamp

Luke showing off the Gator Gallop t-shirt

The third trimester is off to a great start. I'm moving slow, but still moving! We have a few weeks to go before we have another ultrasound to check on the complication and see if it has cleared up. We greatly appreciate your prayers!! 

We are taking childbirth classes and preparing to meet our little one. I've found that nesting does not just mean getting ready for the baby by doing "baby prep" type things (setting up the nursery, etc.) but also means cleaning out the entire house of all the junk we don't need. It feels like I couldn't possibly bring home a baby before I have cleared out the coat closet of all the things we don't use in there. I have cleaned out every room and cabinet in our house and rearranged my office a couple of times. Now that those things are finished, I might actually set up the nursery. 👶

God has blessed us so abundantly and we are trusting in him to establish our steps. As we get closer to Baby Baine's arrival I am reminding myself daily to give up my control and simply walk the path that is placed in front of me. 

Parents: What kinds of things did you do to prepare for your baby's arrival?

 

Unexpected Bumps in the Road

We received some really great and exciting news at our mid-pregnancy ultrasound. We also received some not so good news that I hope you will pray through along with us.

First the good news...

It's a BOY!

The ultrasound revealed a healthy baby BOY! Everything was accounted for and developing normally. We are THRILLED!!

The bad news is that the ultrasound also indicated a complication. I'm upset and nervous, but we are also so excited and relieved that things are developing normally for our baby boy. Due to this complication, I've been restricted from running for the rest of the pregnancy. Boo!!

We would be so grateful if you would pray with us that this complication will resolve itself, which is a possibility. They will do another ultrasound around 32 weeks and we are praying and hopeful that things will change.

In the meantime, I'm still encouraged to exercise and I've been walking in the mornings or evenings around the neighborhood. I'm pleasantly surprised at how much I'm enjoying it. I love to run, but as I get bigger and slower, walking is much easier and still a great workout!

22 weeks and growing!

I'm still planning to sign up for a 5K, but I will be walking it instead of running. Maybe I can walk a 45 minute 5K? Just this week I came across an article discussing why walking is better for you than running. I still intend to pick up running again post-pregnancy, but it is encouraging to read all of the great benefits of walking since that is what I'm stuck with for now! For me, walking relieves pain I've been feeling in my back, relieves stress and makes me feel happier, and it provides all the benefits of cardio exercise that are important for everyone.

Cody celebrating his little brother!

We are so blessed to have so many people share in our excitement and anticipation during our pregnancy. I also hope you will join with us and pray through the complication we are experiencing as well. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, but I often struggle with my prayer life. There are times when prayer feels like the most natural thing, and other times when I feel like my prayers are forced. Recently someone reminded me that one of the greatest gifts we can give others is to pray for them. We have this amazing offering that we can share and use anytime we want or need it.

Old Wives Tales

Pink and Blue for our Gender Reveal Party

Have you come across a great book or study on prayer? Please share in the comments below!

Running with a Bump

Running isn't very easy when you're pregnant. During the first trimester I felt too nauseous and tired to run, but since I've hit the second trimester my nausea has completely gone away for the first time in several years! I have finally hit the halfway mark in this pregnancy and that growing baby bump is heavy, especially when I run! I know I will only get bigger from here, but I feel huge already.

Babymoon at Dauphin Island

My goal is a 5K in the second trimester. I'd like to leave it at that, but I really want to finish it with a 10 minute/mile pace or faster. Fortunately there are lots of 5K races coming up to choose from.

There is one in Franklin, TN, also a 10K, on Labor Day:
 

Franklin Classic

The Go Commando Half Marathon is October 21st. There is also a 5K. I'll be in my 3rd trimester then so might not be doable:

Go Commando

Things I'm learning about running when you're pregnant:

 -It's safe to do. My midwife gave the green light on pretty much any exercise, as long as I feel comfortable doing it. Beginning in the second trimester you should avoid anything you're at risk for falling. That means no bike rides, but I actually didn't find that comfortable in my first trimester, maybe being hunched over? Plus I got tired way too quickly. Luke and I went for a ride and I was done after 4 miles!

-It's not the time to push yourself. A 10 minute/mile pace feels painfully slow to me, but it's better than nothing! If I start getting out of breath it just doesn't feel good, so I'm running at a slow and easy pace where I can easily talk and not feel winded.

-It's harder, but it feels so good! Each step feels like I'm lugging a set of weights around with me, and I get tired more quickly, but running gives me more energy during the day, helps me clear my head, relieves stress, and helps loosen up some aches and pains.

 -It's nice to have a goal. I like having something to focus on and know what my body is able to do. Gaining weight is actually kind of exciting for me because it's fun to think about the little one growing inside me! However, if I just sat around and ate all day I would feel like a fat cow. It's nice to get up and accomplish something.

Team RWB Monday Running Group

Luke has been running with the RWB group at Ft. Campbell. He also joins them on bike rides. I'm just learning about RWB, but they are an awesome group. According to their website their mission is to "enrich the lives of America's veterans by connecting them to their community through physical and social activity." They have several different running, biking, and other exercise meet ups throughout the week. They also participate in all kinds of volunteer activities in the community.

Yesterday we did 100s, which were done at the track to work on speed. You sprint 100 meters, then walk/slow jog 100 meters, then repeat. We did 16 reps which is about 1 mile sprinting and 1 mile walk/jogging. I couldn't sprint (not pushing myself that hard!) but I found this workout perfect for being pregnant. I would jog 100 meters and then walk 100 meters. Add the 1/2 mile warm up and cool down and we ended up doing 3 miles total. That felt great! I had a different goal in mind than speed work, but it was a routine that worked really well. It reminds me of Tabata Training, which I've always enjoyed. Here is a good website explaining Tabata, but basically it is pushing yourself hard for a certain amount of time and then resting, then repeating. You are able to workout longer because of the rest breaks in between, but your body still achieves the same benefits.

Anyone want to do a 10 minute pace 5K in September?? Let me know if there is a good one you know about and let's sign up!